You Can Break the Cycle

After two failed marriages and a rough life… I broke the cycle. Now I help other men get the same result. You think you can’t stop, but you can, and I can help. Here’s a story you need to hear!

Intro Dialogue With Your Addict

Begin your journey here and watch us demonstrate an example of how your “inner addict dialogue” commands your actions many times. I think you will REALLY relate to this.

Don’t Let Addiction Wag The Dog

Porn addiction often tries to wag the dog. The term “wag the dog” is used to describe a situation where something of lesser significance begins to control something of greater significance. So in other words, while it’s usually the dog who is wagging its tail, what if the tail could somehow gain control and wag the dog? In the grand …

Taking a Stand Against Porn Addiction

Overcoming an addiction, and beginning your journey towards recovery really begins when you learn how to take a stand against your addict self. When you can stand up and declare (either out loud, or silently), that you are now taking back control of your life, your actions and your relationships, you gain a position of power over your compulsions. I …

One Word — Win!

In my work as a sex and porn addiction counselor, I remain in contact with my clients after the more intensive aspects of their program are finished. As these men move on to a more self-guided recovery mindset, they still encounter struggles or moments of choice. In these moments, they sometimes write to me to describe what’s going through their …

Examining Your Personal Timeline of Addiction

Sex and porn addicts can often trace the roots of their addiction back to certain events in their lives. These events may have been embarrassing, shameful, or damaging encounters with sexual feelings when you were younger. They often have a lasting effect on the personality – one that can last throughout your entire life, if left unaddressed. Addicts and non-addicts …

Can’t I Just Look at One Site?

I often get asked by men who are either starting in recovery, or considering recovery, “Can’t I just look at one porn site?” Porn addiction is every bit as serious as alcohol or drug addiction, so my answer to that would be another question: “What do you think is going to happen if you look at one porn site?” The …

What Is Shame Telling You? (And How Should You Respond?)

Shame is an incredibly powerful emotion. So powerful in fact, that we often find it at the root of the addictive behavior. Shame can eat a person’s confidence and self-esteem, leaving only an empty anger behind. A coping mechanism can easily be born in the heat of intense shame, and as we’ve seen here at Compulsion Solutions and in the …

Finding an Addict’s Original Wound

In treating compulsive, sexual behavior in addicts, we reach a point where we work to uncover what is known as the “original wound.” This is an emotional wound, always from the addict’s childhood, and it sits at the root of their compulsions. Often, when men go back to look at their lives, they will begin by trying to find that …

What’s at the Foundation of Your Addiction?

Overcoming compulsive behavior, such as sex or porn addiction requires you to look back into your past as much as it requires you to envision your future. When you’re getting to the bottom of addictive behavior patterns, you have to start all the way back at what we call the foundation. Imagine that you’re planning to build a house. If that …

The Choice Point: Where you Choose Not to Objectify

A sticking point for many sex and porn addicts is the objectification of women. When addicts are out in public and see an attractive woman, she does not necessarily register as a person — someone with a career, a family, dreams, fears and aspirations — rather she is viewed as a thing. The rational part of your brain understands that …

You And Your Addict: Who’s Running The Show?

There’s a phenomenon in sex and porn addiction called “compulsive looking.” This is the act of looking at attractive women — be they in print, on a screen, or in real life — for a little too long. The aspect of compulsive looking that makes it problematic is that, unlike other people who may be able to take a long …

Does Treating My Sex Addiction Mean I’ll Never Get Laid Again?

Often when people hear the term “addiction” connected to sex they think the only way out is to quit cold turkey. As a counselor for sexual addiction, one of the first questions I’m asked is about the future of sexual relationships. “Will I ever get laid again?” My answer is always the same — “I hope you don’t get laid …

5 Signs Your “Little” Porn Habit Has Become A BIG Problem

All guys do it, right?  It doesn’t mean you have a problem. It’s not an addiction, is it? Why can’t I watch a little porn? The problem for some men is that sex is an addictive substance, similar to alcohol and drugs. Think of it in terms of social drinkers vs. alcoholics: one can drink, and get back to his life …

I Watch Porn In My Car, At Work And In Bed Next To My Sleeping Wife

I wake up every day with good intentions. I tell myself I won’t look at porn. I tell myself I can quit doing this, but by mid-day, I’ve already visited my favorite sites three times. I feel like I can’t stop myself, and that powerlessness is frightening. Does this mean I might have a sex addiction? I’ve masturbated to porn while sitting …

I Gave Up Porn — And Now My Marriage Is Better Than Ever

Like many men, I thought I was keeping my pornography sexual addiction a dirty little secret. But no matter how clever I thought I was, my wife started picking up on signs:  how I seemed checked out in our relationship, how I frequently had trouble “finishing” during sex, and how we had become like roommates despite being married for many …

The Hard-To-Face TRUTH About Being Married To A Sex Addict

He swore on his children’s lives that he wasn’t having an affair. He said someone must have broken into his email account. He kept reassuring his wife that it was nothing. Finally, she got access to all of his phone records and his secret receipts. She also found a second cell phone he accidentally left on the passenger seat of his …

Truth Bomb — Your Porn Habit Is Masking A MUCH Bigger Problem

Even though sexual addictions, such a porn addiction, are becoming more and more accepted as real problems and not just convenient excuses for lascivious behavior, people suffering from them still feel massive amounts of shame. That shame often fuels compulsive sexual needs and stands in the way of a person getting pornography addiction help. Shame is at the core of recovering …

5 Shocking Porn Truths That May Send You Running For Help

When you’re at work, at the gym, the subway, on an airplane, look around, there are most likely people nearby who need porn addiction help. They could be friends, co-workers, relatives, or even your teenage children. And what about you? Are you sure you don’t need porn addiction therapy? Here are a few shocking truths about modern porn addiction that …