Before any recovery can begin, you must first ask yourself this hard question: “What brought me here?”
Like many other men, you are seeking out help and support right now because you understand that you need it. However you got to this point, you’ve had a realization that made you want to make a change in your life. You want control back. And you deserve to have your life back.
We all have a story behind how we ended up in our current positions. Thousands of other men are in your situation right now. Maybe you have had relationship issues as a result of your addiction. Perhaps the constant pull of porn has impacted your job performance. Your social life may be suffering. Your schoolwork may not be meeting expectations. Your overall self-esteem might be at an all time low. You’re not along. Ask any porn addict, and they will tell you that they all realized they needed help when their lives began falling apart.
Take James for example. He is one of our therapists now, but when he first came to Compulsion Solutions, he was as an addict looking for a way out. James had what was, by all accounts, a great life. He was married with children, he had a job be liked, and everything seemed to be just fine on the outside. Inside however, James had become desperate. He felt as though he was losing his life to porn. It wasn’t just that he couldn’t stop — it was that he was not even sure he wanted to.
While his situation might not mirror your own exactly, chances are you have felt many of these same, fundamental feelings — loneliness, self-hatred, hopelessness, and an overall feeling of no longer being in control of your thoughts and actions. These are negative, frightening feelings, and it’s easy to see why anyone would want a way out. Perhaps you might even convince yourself that you can quit anytime you want. Yet, time and again, you relapse. You talk yourself back into old habits, and the cycle starts again. This is the definition of addiction. Remember — you are not alone in the way you feel.
So, with your own story in mind, take a moment to reflect:
- What brought you here?
- Why do you want to stop your destructive cycles?
- What are the overall feelings and habits you want to address?
- What do you hope to gain when you are free of your porn addiction?
- How do you envision your life being different once you are free?
Write out your answers to these questions. That will help you set your intentions more clearly. And by setting your intentions clearly, you can expect better results.
Join us here at Neulia. You are going to be given the tools you need to take back control of your life and to stop the pull of porn. You can take the first step to a fuller and more meaningful life.
You, like so many other men, are going to learn and grow, and move past your addiction. There is a way out.